Some Perspective

Hi, readers! I apologize for the delay in posting. I also anticipate being a bit lax in posting during the upcoming month, too, because I'm about to undertake my first NaNoWriMo! And I think that most of my November free time to write will go towards that endeavor. :) Please harass me often to make sure I haven't been slacking on it!

Here's a little update on me:

I've just returned from a quick weekend conference to Napa, California, for my official first time on the West Coast! It was a workshop about running service-learning programs in the classroom, and filled me with lots of LGU flashbacks and memories. :) While the service program at our school is still very small, this was a fantastic opportunity to meet a lot of established Lasallian educators who know all about running Service Learning, and who were bursting with experience to share on getting out program up and flourishing.

In addition to being a great networking time, it was also a really useful reaffirmation of the importance of the work I've come here to do. I've been getting bogged down at times, so being surrounded by so many others who have made social justice issues their life's work was a welcome boost of energy. While it wasn't really a retreat, there was also some built in time for reflection (one of the focuses of Service-Learning!) and sharing with other members of the workshop, and I had some much-needed chances to simply recharge and recenter myself on this volunteer year. It was in an absolutely beautiful spot, too- right on the hills of a winery. Still- I was so thrilled to see water and actual trees when we first landed that I probably would have thought anything outside of the desert was beautiful. (It's gorgeous here too, but in it's own way).

All things considered, it was a really nice trip that came at a good point in my year. It was a reminder of my passions of undertaking this crazy ride in the first place. I didn't get to see everything I hoped (missing the Golden Gate bridge is my new equivalent of being close to Paris in '08 and never getting there...) but that's okay, because there's still 6.5 months left in my year, and adventure is only a flight, drive, or brisk walk away!

Oh, one last thing: my layover on the way back was in Las Vegas, my first time there too. The airport was packed full of slot machines and old people in wheelchairs. It was so strange. I was really tempted to use one of the machines just to say I'd gambled in Vegas, but I only had four quarters and spent most of the layover eating food, so I didn't. This probably says something about my life.

Always, Catherine

High School #2

This weekend has been the homecoming of the school where I'm working, which has been a fun blur of dress up days, screaming pep rallies, a candlelight 'tradition ceremony' and getting to see full out the pride so many El Pasoans have for their alma mater.

It's also been a unique opportunity to look back on my own high school career, which still feels like it's just barely past, and a time I think about often. Homecoming at my school was always a huge deal: competitions among the four classes that culminated at the football game in floats and skits that at the time seemed to be the biggest project imaginable. I look back and marvel about the many hours spent making paper flowers, often fun but also a source of great tension and bickering. Why had we cared so much?

Since I know my time here is temporary, I feel like a visitor to the space on the other side of the high school world: one of conferences and copy machines, elevator keys and professional titles. I often feel like a fake adult, but I don't think that's unique to someone in  my position, we're all just guessing our way along to some extent.

Some highlights from this week:

On Thursday, we went with members of the service club to drop off books they'd collected for a local non-profit. I don't know exactly how the dress up themes worked, but on that day all the seniors came in wearing togas. So we come parading in to this daycare center/library and they must have looked like storybook characters to the confused and fascinated little kids.

The pep rallies were intense, over the top screaming matches and dance-offs, generally a testosterone packed gymnasium. They competed in physical challenges and shows of spirit through synchronized cheers. One of my favorite parts was this dance-off where each class sent out a representative. As usual, the seniors were winning, but their champion was this shorter kid in a monkey mask. He did all this crazy footwork and all sorts of hyped up 'come at me, bro' gestures. The crowd went wild!

The tradition ceremony was a really nice idea, where everyone had candles. The flame started with the Brothers community, passed to alumni, who passed it to the seniors, who then in turn passed it to the freshmen. They had this energetic recent alum give a keynote speech, and an important faculty member who's been in the hospital even was there in the form of a video message. The cool part for me is that the LVs were included in the part where the Brothers lit the first candles, and I even lit the original candle from a lighter. It felt very important.

Last night was the homecoming game itself, and afterwards, a traditional Mexican tamalada. Something interesting they do around here is if anyone has a date to the dance, they wear these GIANT bow creations around their necks (girls) or arms (boys). It's a thing you buy for your date, like a corsage, but you wear it the whole day before the dance too. I think there's an unwritten rule that the more elaborate and expensive of the bow-thing, the more you supposedly care about your date. They were pretty but I think a bit excessive. The tamalada afterwards was mostly for alumni, and a nice time for them all to catch up with each other. The food was really good, but I did feel out of place.

I've experienced a lot of bittersweet nostalgia this week, and felt old in more ways than one, but I think it's served as an important lesson. I had my share of regrets coming out of high school, some that have bothered me longer than necessary. Being here on the faculty has taught me to lighten up and appreciate the time for what it is: brief, formative, awkward and a roller coaster for everyone. It doesn't need to be taken that seriously. At the same time, remembering my own experiences is a reminder of how very serious issues can seem to students as they're in the middle of them. It's a lesson in empathy and compassion, and one I hope to keep centered as this year continues.

Life Lately: Having Fun

Hi readers! It's been more than a week since my past post, and for that I apologize. I keep thinking of things to write about but don't set aside the time to put it out here for you.

There were a couple of cool events that happened since I last posted. One of them was that I went on my first community service project with the service group I moderate at school. We went to the Ronald McDonald House, located conveniently right across the street. They have gone there frequently in past years, and while this year are hoping to branch out to other organizations, were still interested in going back.

Service groups have been a favorite part of my high school and college experiences, and now going as a moderator was no exception. It was many of the student's first time visiting the organization, so I was able to experience the service project through their eyes as well. Our intended purpose of volunteering was to cook a meal for the children and their families staying at the house. The students brought the food we prepared- spaghetti and meat sauce, and garlic bread. It turned out great, but since so many students wanted to volunteer, we faced an example of 'too many cooks in the kitchen'. Turns out it doesn't take 15 kids to make a pot of pasta.

But they were there and eager to help, so with the volunteer coordinator on site, we managed to find a number of other odd jobs to help with. They watered several gardens and plants outside of the building, as well as washed down the organization's van. As could be expected, this turned into a wet mess with a couple of rouge hose sprays, but at the end the car was gleaming bright.

Our timing of cooking the food was a bit off, as was the amounts we'd prepared, but the guests who were there were certainly grateful for a night off from cooking. For me, the best part of the afternoon was getting to interact in a service setting with the student volunteers. We'd been able to meet and talk with them about service plans for the past two months now, and it was wonderful to actually be there during the project itself. I am always inspired by getting to work with non-profits, and seeing the students experience that similar joy was another sort of privilege. I'm definitely looking forward to their next project!

The second fun update: yesterday morning I went hiking to a place called the 'Aztec caves', and then played some Ultimate Frisbee! Hiking is the sort of adventure I'm accustomed to, joining an organized sports game was a whole other challenge.

Both of these adventures happened with a couple of wonderful new friends. I've been wanting to hike in the Franklin Mountains surrounding El Paso ever since I arrived 2 months ago, and was so excited to actually go. It was a chillier morning than I've been accustomed to, but definitely warmed up as we scrambled up the mountain. Everything was also so green, a result of the excessive rain this season. There were wildflowers and buzzing bees everywhere. The view at the top of the mountain was spectacular, we were afforded a beautiful view of El Paso and Juarez. The caves themselves were also fantastic- it looked like something out of a storybook. There were also a couple of ancient cave paintings on the walls! They were just out there in the open to the elements and tourists, which I thought was shocking but pretty cool.

After we conquered the caves, which only took about 2 hours, the friends I was with invited me to go play Ultimate Frisbee with a team they're on. They'd asked me to come before, but since I consider myself pretty horrible at anything involving a field and hand-eye coordination, I'd always declined. This time, though, with my athletic gear already on, and nothing to do for the rest of the day, I somehow found excuses harder to come by. I went.

It was an informal pick-up league sort of team, but everyone on it still seemed really good to me. I practiced throwing the disc around for a while on the sidelines, and sooner than I'd expected, was called in to replace someone who wanted a break. It was terrifying! I made a bunch of mistakes, but all throughout some of the more experienced players were giving me advice and encouragement. No one ever put me down, even when I threw the disc into the dirt on a short pass. A few times, I even properly caught and threw the disc (they don't call it a Frisbee), which may seem a silly accomplishment, but gave me the confidence to stick it out.

While the whole game was stressful, it was also fun in a way I hadn't expected. I'm still really apprehensive with any sort of competitive sport, but I think I'll probably go back. It was such a welcoming environment, and this seems as good a time as any to really try out something new.

I'll let you know how it goes- who knows, maybe this year will make an athlete of me yet. (Ha!)

Thank you, always, for reading. :)

Soul Food

Earlier this week, I tried my hand at a new recipe when it was my night to cook dinner-- bacon mac and cheese, a homage to the recent losers of a cooking show I've been following. I may have forgotten to strain out the milk clumps, and it may have momentarily caught fire in the oven, but overall it was a pretty tasty turnout. It felt like a soul food success, but some other events this past week have reminded me how much more is involved with feeding the soul.

In getting the students I work with involved in community service, I've discovered a wonderful ministry that makes sandwiches right next door to my house.  Stopping by before work to help them out has been a huge boost for me as well, because while the work I do at school is surely service, there's a different sort of joy that comes from seeing a stack of sandwiches pile up, and it's the sort of fulfillment I hadn't realized how much I missed.

Another group I've recently joined is the El Paso Young Adult Ministry. I've been going for a few weeks and it's given me a familiar type of happiness that I felt doing clubs in college. This past meeting, they did a service project that was, again, making sandwiches. It's an easy task for a big group of people to participate in, and one that has a quick payoff in terms of impact visibility.

We prepared about 35 brown paper bags, each with two sandwiches, a piece of fruit and Capri Sun. It was a pretty quick project in terms of prep. Then what we did was split into three groups, pile into groups, and drive around El Paso in search of homeless people to whom we could give food. This was different from any other service I'd done, where it was generally under the supervision of some certified non-profit. I'll admit I was honestly pretty nervous, because it was late at night and I didn't know my way around, no one really knew where I was, and I'd just watched a terrifying documentary on the violence in Juarez.

At the start of our expedition, we were sort of driving in circles and unable to find anyone. It was a weird sort of game: "Is that someone?" "No", "No", "Yes!!"

The first legitimate homeless we encountered were two men in a sort of walled-in parking lot. I felt like we must have seemed really suspicious driving up to them, but when we rolled down the window and asked if they were hungry, they seemed happy to take the brown bags. The one thing I remember about our first 'find' is that they had a cat carrier, and a small cat sitting between the two. I've missed my cats these two months, and it was a sort of humanizing connection I hadn't expected to see.

The second pair of people that we encountered was when we were walking around the downtown section on foot. We'd spotted them driving by, but had to park a ways away first. As we approached, I held back, because I was anxious about being the first one to start conversation.

Him: "Can you spare any change?"
Us: "How about some sandwiches?"

The expression on his face has been in my mind all week. How many times have I completely ignored someone asking for change on the streets of Philadelphia? Too many, and I've known this for a while now. The surprise and gratitude in his voice was overwhelming as he thanked us. He spoke clearly, though his companion, a woman he described as from New Orleans, was harder to understand. His name was Lester, and he asked us about a concert going on nearby, shook all of our hands and asked our names. We spoke for a while but then pulled ourselves away, explaining that we had to distribute the rest of the bags. We wished him a good night.

Our third and final stop for the evening was in response to a call from another of our groups, who had run out of bags. We joined them at 9th and Oregon, a street on the very extreme edge of the United States border. There, along a low stone wall, were at least 20 men trying to sleep. Some had blankets, most were cushioned by cardboard boxes.

I was uncomfortable. I didn't want to stay and gawk at their situation; I wanted to distribute the remaining bags as fast as possible and head home. But the group insisted in heading down the line together, so I did. When we were nearly finished and walking back to the car, one man from the line stood up and walked towards us. He wanted to know who we were and why we were doing this. When we explained it was an organization of 'Catolicos', he misheard and thought we said 'Alcoholicos', and joked (I suppose it was jokingly) that "Todos aqui son alcoholicos", "everyone here is alcoholic".

And then when we gave him his food bag, the last that we had, he didn't want to stop talking. His name was Guillermo. His wife and 5 year old daughter had both died in a short period of time, and he couldn't find work anywhere he looked. He was angry at God, he was fighting for justice, and he was in an immense amount of pain. He cried, and was ashamed of it. He talked with us for about a half hour, all in Spanish so I couldn't always keep up. At the end we prayed together, and he embraced us all.

On the drive back to where all our cars were waiting, we passed by where we had seen Lester earlier. He was seated on the concrete edge of a building, head bowed, and looking profoundly alone.

I'm not telling this story because I think I did anything great. I don't want anyone to compliment me for taking an hour to give some people food. I know there is so much more to do. I'm writing this because I want you to consider Lester and Guillermo, the woman from New Orleans and the men with their cat. They are the heroes of a story that has never been told, a tragedy that unfolds every day. The 'soul food' I make reference to in the title is that of human interaction, of being considered worthy of conversation and existence.

In the way that everything seems to come full circle, the day after I did the food distribution, I found this news segment that features a non-profit I used to work with back home. About a minute in, one of the guests explains that he goes to the kitchen not because he needs food, but "the socialization of people, and talking to people."

My all-time favorite song is called Everybody, by Ingrid Michaelson, with the lyrics of "everybody wants to love, everybody wants to be loved." It's such a simple idea, and one that resonates with me deeply in times like this. Love people, everybody. We all just want to be loved.

Some Weather We're Having

It's been a while since I posted, so here's a funny story.

When I first arrived in El Paso, I was greeted with a rainy weekend. It wasn't a big deal, but I quickly learned how much people here appreciate rain. It's a desert and most of the time one of the sunniest places in the country. It's even been nicknamed 'Sun City'. The place doesn't really know how to cope with rain, because they're not used to it, so on that drizzly Saturday morning I tried to take a walking tour, businesses and restaurants were shut down, a farmers market cancelled, and essentially every conversation was focused on the weather. When the rain stopped but the clouds lingered, all I could hear was what a nice day it was.

That's right: cloudy days are nice days, especially in the summer, and everyone congregates outside to celebrate not being burned to a crisp. They rejoice at how green everything is going to be, and in truth the sandy landscape did become a bit more vibrant. Still, after that first rainstorm all I could hear was how strange it was.

It's essentially the weather opposite of Ireland, where it's almost always raining and sunny days are a cause for huge excitement.

As much as I was reassured that the rain was most unusual, and I'd miss it soon enough, this has been a particularly rough 'monsoon season' for El Paso. And every time you think "surely that's the end of it", there comes another midnight rainstorm and cars crash and teachers at school are told not to mark anyone late because of flooding on the highways.

Since I live right next to my workplace, this hasn't had any sort of substantial impact on my commute. The biggest difficulty I've faced from the rain was about a week ago, when the gymnasium of the school took on a lot of water somehow. The weight room was flooding, and I was called in to help sweep everything out before it infiltrated the beautiful new hardwood floor in the main gym, recently completed and a big source of pride for the school community.

If you've ever had to do emergency flood control before, you'll know it's not the most satisfying task. I don't mind doing manual labor, and while transporting the sandbags from one side of the school to the other was difficult, it was easy to see our progress. Sweeping out the water, though, seemed Sisyphean at times. Each big push of water out the door just made way for more to fill up down the hallway, seep into a nearby locker room, and in general swill around my flip-flopped feet.

It was dirty, it was tiring, and it was yet another unexpected task in my volunteer time. In a way I had to laugh and remember how during orientation they told us to be prepared for everything. I don't know what other surprise natural disasters will come my way, but I'm trying to take it each one week at a time. The gym was saved though, and that was a great feeling. It makes for a funny memory too, I think!

The moral of the story: if anyone tells you it never rains in El Paso, they are either lying or have been hibernating this summerfall.

Trouble Brewing

Disclaimer: there have been some very interesting and blog-worthy events the past few days, but I'm having trouble sitting down and writing them out. Something about sharing my posts on Facebook recently has made me somewhat intimidated about writing in a way that's really silly. But I'll 'craft' a good story out for you all soon.

But first, here's a funny story that won't fit in a tweet and I wanted to share. I may move towards shorter posts in the style of my favorite blog, but hopefully keep up the longer pieces too.

So this weekend I have been lazing around the house with the excuse of a sore neck (I think I slept on it funny), rereading Harry Potter and eating oreos. Tonight I discovered Scrivener, a super cool writing tool that's described as 'photoshop for writers'. It massively improved my day and I hope it will inspire me to actually move on some projects I've had in mind. 

Anyway, so tonight I was diligently following the complicated tutorial for the program, and at one point it told me to go get a cup of tea and a biscuit. I obeyed, and went upstairs to get myself a nice cup of tea and a piece of 'soda bread' that one of the Brothers makes that tastes phenomenally close to Irish brown bread.

But for the tea...they don't own a kettle, which I've come across before. No problem, I would just boil some water in a pot, this time using the one with the little lip so it pours easier. I set it to boiling and wait for a few minutes, but it's making a funny smell. Lots of things in the house make a funny smell so I wasn't super concerned, but I took off the lid to look...

And there was a boiling bug in my tea water! Writhing and dying all horribly.

So I poured it out and decided I would just microwave my water. I went into the cabinet and rifled among the teas, passing over chai for green tea and pulling it out happily. One of the Brothers says,

"Green tea, eh?"

"Yeah," I say, smiling. "It's really good for you."

"Good." he says. "That's been in there a while."

Curious, I check the bottom of the box. And then I have to laugh. "Brother, guess when this expired."

"When?"

"February 2006."

That's been my Saturday night, everybody. But now I have a nice mug of microwaved regular tea that doesn't even expire until November this year, some bread, and an ice pack for my neck. Stay tuned for more exciting stories like this. 

Found in Translation

Hi Readers-

In case you missed it, I was just featured on the shared blog for the national organization that runs my volunteer year! It's a departure from my usual slice of life updates, and goes into more of a reflective overview of the whole experience.

Check it out here! (I hope the link works- I was having trouble connecting to the website earlier.)

I'll have another post up soon talking about the anniversary of 9/11, and how we memorialized it on campus for a group of students too young to remember the day.

Happy Birthday to Me!

Many of you already know this, but I recently celebrated the start of another year. Birthdays are an exciting deal for me, which is funny because I don't normally like being the center of attention, but I feel like that one day a year I have full liberty to shine bright and proud because I did survive another year of existence, darn it. This might say something about my self confidence levels (shine every day!) but regardless, I really like birthdays.

As my mom wrote on a heartfelt Facebook post that day, I've been travelling since I was sixteen, but this is the first year I've ever been away from home on my birthday. (Not counting the first year of college when I watched 'The Hangover' in the Basil's lounge with a bunch of people I'd just met, and a few of whom would 3 years later turn out to be my best friends).

In addition to being away from home for my birthday, it was also the same day as our first retreat for the year, a stressful and chaotic day that deserves it's own post. So the few days leading up to my birthday, and the morning of the day itself, were busy in a unique way that also made me pretty homesick.

But the magic of birthdays is-- people take it upon themselves to tell you they love you that day, and it can do wonders for one's mood. :) I received a package from my mom with two pillow pets that had been abandoned in the airport when I first left home, among other goodies. My phone was the busiest it'd been in weeks with well-wishers, and after the retreat I went out to a wonderful dinner with my community here, and then out with some new friends afterwards.

I also received cards! A few by mail the day of, and just today, I got a package from my sister at college stuffed full with handmade birthday cards from so many incredible people at school that it made me want to cry. So my blog shout-out for mail will be pretty long this week, but all of you deserve it and I love you.

This is a shorter post, because I just finished writing a long one for the shared blog of my volunteer program, which should be online soon. I'll make sure it's up here too for future reference! But I wanted to thank in an extra way everyone who worked hard to make my birthday special. Thanks for the cookie cake, Harry Potter pillows, moonshine, Nepali bracelet, and most of all for the messages of care and joy. They mean the world to me. :)

Here is this week's mail shout-out: it's a great one!
Thank you to Ms. Peters, Grandma, Grandma, Maggie, Aimee, Mom, Dad, Aunt Peggy, Tyler, Katie and Adam, Larry, Jenn, Lynn, Jess, Heather, Krystie, Amanda, Tim, Julia, Susie, Alexa, Kelly, Anna, Mary, Katie again, Adam again, the Coyles, one person who's signature I can't read (sorry! I will ask Maggie), and the Breakfast Club. Your cards and notes are all hanging on my wall next to me as I type this, and I couldn't be happier.

And thank you, reader, for making the start of this year, both in school and my life, a wonderful one.

Chasing Waterfalls

Hello readers! I hope you all had a great Labor Day weekend. I definitely did, although there were a few points throughout when I thought to myself, "this is the most laborious day ever." Let me explain.

This weekend I traveled to Tuscon, Arizona, to visit some other volunteers in community who are starting their year off there as well. It was great to reconnect with them, and even though we'd only met in July for about a week, seeing some familiar and friendly faces was a nice boost at this point in the year. We left school on Friday afternoon following an intense pep rally (more on that later), and then traversed the Texan, New Mexican, and Arizonan deserts for about five hours. I was dazzled by cacti-- saguaros (!) the typical picturesque kinds, stark mountain landscapes and a surprising abundance of life. We passed through pecan groves and salt flats, and each little road-stop town had it's own kind of Wild West claim to fame.

When we finally arrived, we were able to visit the school there (and witnessed an adorably awkward HS dance), and later on, see some of the sights of Tucson. It's a similar city to El Paso, but more spread out and definitely hotter. The biggest adventure was the next day, when another volunteer and I decided to undertake a hike to 'Seven Falls', because some of her students had said it was cool and the pictures we found on Google looked really pretty.

Upon arriving at the park entrance, we were greeted with a sign that outlined the amount of time you should set aside for each of the separate trails: about an hour for the nature walk, 3 hours for a different one, 5-6 for a more challenging path, and then for the waterfall hike: 'all day'.  In our minds, they couldn't really mean all day- that was just to warn off lazy walkers, or something.

How very wrong we were. In retrospect, starting on a 12 mile mountain trek during August in Arizona at 11 am was not the best idea. The heat was brutal, and we soon found ourselves downing our limited supplies of water, I was reapplying sunblock like mad, and within about an hour of starting out we began to ask everyone we met just how far it was until the waterfalls. It was far.

There were a couple casualties as we went along. I sat on a cactus at our very first water stop, in a kind of ridiculous cartoonish way that left me pulling out needles and awkwardly telling concerned passers-by that everything was okay. (It wasn't, really.) The sunburns were surprisingly minimal, but the blisters have yet to heal. To beat the heat we would hide in tiny shadows under a protruding rock wall, and spent about 15 minutes chatting with a photographer on the edge of a cliff as we caught our breath and hid from the sun. The very best cool-down was about halfway along when we sat in a little stream and natural pool, for really a long time, and it was perfectly magical.

After seemingly endless hours, we finally got to the waterfalls. They were 7 stacked on top of each other, a little less majestic than I'd pictured but still the most welcome sight I'd seen in a while. We had to scramble down a bunch of rocks to get to the bottom pool, and then swam around and finished our lunch. I then had the bright idea to climb up the waterfall to get to the higher levels, which was cool and dangerous and my friend slipped down and now is sporting some terribly impressive bruises. Our photographer friend seemed quite concerned from afar.

At the very eventual end of our hike, we collapsed on the stone bench at the visitors' center. We started about 10:30 am, and finished at 6 pm. It was brutal, I won't be doing a trek that intense again soon, but there was a definite feeling of accomplishment when we finished.

I have a lot of mountains coming towards me in this year ahead, and it's going to be long (and hot), but I know that if I find some little pools of water scattered around, I'll be able to make it through. Thanks for reading, and for writing (newest mail shout-out goes to Alexa!) and for all the support in every way. I couldn't make this climb without you. 

Enter to Learn

I feel like an adult.

I remember growing up (I'm not growing up anymore?) and asking my mom when she realized she was an adult, because I was very concerned with recognizing the cutoff when it came. She said something along the lines of knowing that she was definitely an adult at the time of our conversation, because she had kids, but she wasn't sure when the defining moment was. When she got married? When she had a job? My mom is a high school teacher, and these past three weeks of working in a high school have been really helped me understand her experiences, as well put my own school days into a new light. (Why can I say school days in the past tense?)

When I started this job about a month ago, I remember asking friends how in the world I was old enough or qualified enough to be a faculty member in a high school. Weren't we just there?

I had another version of this post halfway written from a few days ago, which I've put on hold for the time being. It was titled 'Leave to Serve', which goes along with this post's current title. A big Lasallian mantra of education is the notion of 'Enter to Learn, Leave to Serve'. All last week I was giving presentations to the students about their new community service requirement, which was fun and draining. The best part of it was the hope that the students, especially the younger ones, would be some sort of inspired and see the service requirement instead as an opportunity to do good and grow from it. I'll share later what I talked about, and more on why service is so important to me, but the past few days it's really hit me that while I'm doing a service year, I'm absolutely still in the 'Enter to Learn' stage of the equation.

Suddenly being a grown-up is pretty scary. I'm fortunate enough to have the safety net of this structured program, but I really feel for my friends who are out there 'in the real world', trying to find jobs, holding onto their dreams and sense of purpose in this big society that's now infinitely more complicated.

I'll get you some more story-filled post soon, with pictures of the exciting borderland. (I'm hopefully going to Tucson this weekend!) For now though, this is just some thoughts to say that I'm nostalgic for my alma mater already, though I know the past four years prepared me for this moment more than I know.

This is to re-acknowledge, for myself, that growing up is an ongoing journey. It's no single moment or magic switch. The quinceanera is a big tradition around here, but there's no one coming of age moment when you can be finished with learning, or are suddenly an expert on life.

I've been humbled these fast few weeks, and I hope I continue to be. I've started to tear up over inspirational teacher-things, I recently felt a weird protectiveness over these kids at a football game, and I feel an immense responsibility not to let them down. Those are symptoms of becoming a Responsible Adult, I suppose.

So I'm still learning. One day at a time. Thanks for following along. :)

P.S. During my brief quarter life crisis this afternoon, I played lots of songs from back in the day...meaning high school 5 years ago. Kelly Clarkson and P!nk can be ridiculously empowering. Also, yesterday a faculty member told me I was really young because I remembered seeing the LoTR movies in theaters as a kid. You can't win.

Welcome to the Borderland

I should be sleeping, but I'm feeling sort of homesick and not able to right now. So I realized I could lay in bed feeling sorry for myself, or get up and use that awake time to write about a bunch of the reasons I have to be happy. I decided to try out the second one. :)

Living in El Paso has it's perks. Before I committed to going here for the year, I'd been thinking pretty seriously about trying to spend this first after-college year somewhere abroad. Kenya was the plan for a little bit, but when that fell through, I was looking around elsewhere too. I'm really happy with my decision to do this program in particular (I still haven't figured out if it's professional to name it, though you probably know anyway...), and one of the coolest things is being in this completely bi-cultural community. When people back home ask about Texas, I need to explain that it's more of a Mexico place than cowboys and cacti- although I have actually seen both of those as well!

This Saturday I ventured in Ciudad Juarez, the Mexican sister-city to El Paso. Depending on who you ask, they're really one big city with a pesky international border down the middle, or at least it used to be that way. About 30% of the students in the school where I work cross the border daily from home to class, which is a piece of cake going from the US to Mexico, we didn't need to show any documentation or speak to anyone at all. Coming back home way way slower, I was uncomfortably reminded of crossing the border into Palestine; it was tense and tedious, and much harder without an American passport. 

For the day in Mexico, I proudly wore my Neighbor to Neighbor t-shirt in the spirit of some sort of symbolic good neighbor vibes, which turned out to be a sort of stupid idea because it was dark in color and surprisingly hot for a t-shirt. It's pretty warm around here.

And the coolest thing is that I can still say 'around here' and mean both El Paso and Juarez. It took us about a 10 minute drive to get into Mexico, and I'm thinking pretty seriously about walking across one of these days. Although you could tell a difference between the two countries, in terms of infrastructure, the default language, and (surprisingly) the amount of foliage, there was also so much more in common. Right along the border in downtown El Paso is an area called Segundo Barrio, which is pretty much exclusively Mexican and Spanish-speaking, even more than the rest of town. This morning one of the Brothers brought me to an all-Spanish mass at one of the parishes there, which was a little hard to follow, but absolutely exuberant and full of life. They had so much music, and everyone acted like part of a family.

My rusty Spanish skills definitely got a tune up while I was across the border, and I certainly hope to practice more in the future. I had the very best tacos in my life, cordon-bleu themed sushi, and aguas frescas, which deserve a whole separate post but are basically fresh fruit juices that taste like heaven. Available in tons of flavors, yesterday I had both cantaloupe and cucumber! There were also spicy candies, pretty pastries, a knockoff IHOP, edible cacti, and a surprise giraffe in central park. 

We passed by the best university in the country, took pictures with a couple monuments, toured an interactive museum with a 3D video about space all in Spanish, and crossed an item off of my personal Mexico bucket list: visited La Equis. 

'The X' is a giant red metal X towering over the border. I've seen it every day here, often from afar but sometimes from just across the fence, and decided from my site visit that I wanted to get there before I left a year later. So I did- I just never thought it would happen so soon! I touched the base, and learned that there was a planned restaurant in the middle (you can see the space for it), but it never got completed because the whole thing gets way too hot and insulating it costs too much money. I spent a lot of our time there trying to get a good selfie with the structure, since it was my big landmark, but I failed pretty miserably, so my profile picture is instead a fake pyramid. 

No worries, I'm planning to hit up the real ones outside Mexico City sometime soon. I didn't get to see absolutely everything of Juarez yesterday, of course, but I know I'll be able to get back again in the future. It's the beauty of living right here! So yes, I have lots to be grateful for, and this whole year experience is a big one. 

Thank you for reading, and as always, comments are loved. ❤

Breaking Bread

As I write this, I'm preparing for a day trip to Mexico (read- procrastinating preparing by writing) and want to get out a few thoughts on events of the past couple days before I experience all the wonderful Juarez adventures and will need to write about that instead.

Yesterday was the first school-wide mass, celebrating the Assumption, and I was one of the main people in charge of seeing that it all went smoothly. So really, the first test of 'was this girl actually worth shipping out to the border'? And aside for a few awkward hiccups (I dropped the host), everything went pretty great! Several faculty members congratulated us on how well the students behaved, and it felt like the one of the first major hurdles was crossed.

During the time beforehand, there were some frantic getting-ready moments, but once the mass began, I felt mostly comfortable letting it proceed in grace. Always a metaphor person, I remember as a little kid validating the 'boring' time spent at church as a visit to a friend's house where we read a book, sang some songs, and then got a snack. While I of course understand everything much better now, at the core I still have a level of peace achieved through the mass that's hard to get elsewhere. And while it's not just a snack, the experience of sharing a meal is definitely central.

Which leads into the purported purpose of this post: food! It's the first thing everyone asks about when they try to talk about someone's travels, and it's certainly a major part of my life here.

From sharing a Pizza-hut field trip with a faculty member, visiting another teacher's sport's bar and getting free food (!) to experiencing 'authentic Mexican', to cooking once a week for my community, I've had a lot of food-centric times here. One of the best things about being home-home in Jersey is dinnertime with my whole family, sharing stories about our day. Living with the Brothers is sort of like that, in a funny way. One of them is an excellent cook, who I've been watching a lot of 'Chopped' with, and the rest of us try our best on varying levels. For me, the first two meals I made were fairly stressful, because while I'm totally in love with throwing whatever's in the fridge into my wok or blender, that wasn't quite going to cut it serving a bunch of other (grown-up) people.

So I turned to my Italian heritage and whipped up a couple of pasta dishes. The first, shrimp scampi, was a success even though I sort of made it up as I went, and the second- eggplant parmesean was one of my personal favorite recipes and a total hit! I still need to post the instructions to a FB group of volunteers striving to make community cooking work, and from where I plan to pull other ideas as soon as my couple of standard dishes run out. (Once I have more time, I will try to post a picture of it here too!)

As for the Mexican food, it's here, and plentiful. Taco Bell exists, but most of it is far from that. There's Chico's Tacos, an El Paso staple and totally weird-- greasy and delicious. We went to a nicer-style restaurant last Sunday as a community gathering, where I tried my first 'flautas', and earlier this week the other LV picked us up some homemade burritos from a student's mother who sells them each morning before school. It was fresh, delicious, and definitely authentic-- my mouth was 100% on fire!!! I'm not up to standard with spiciness here or anywhere, so I chased each bite of burrito with a giant spoonful of yogurt I'd brought for breakfast. (First I tried water- rookie mistake.)

Last weekend we also went to a huge church carnival a ways away in Clint, Texas, with of course had all your normal fair fare, as well as fantastic border stuff. There were churros stuffed with chocolate, famous gorditas with a huge line, patatas locas (crazy potatos) with hot-sauce and who knows what else, as well as my personal ridiculous favorite- corn in a cup full of butter. The gorditas lived up to the hype, though I'll probably pass on the corn next time. I'll write more about the fair in a following post I think- all sorts of cool cultural things going on there!

One of the common themes in all the meals described above is that they happened in community, not necessarily my living community but with people who joined together to eat purposefully. While I don't mind eating alone from time to time, those aren't the memorable dining experiences typically worth blogging about. I'm sure there will be many more food stories to talk about later and as the year progresses, but I've run out of time.

Heading to Juarez- read all about it soon!

Clean Slate

I am not a tidy person. Anyone who's ever lived with me or been close enough to see the inside of my room will know this-- although very few know what the floor looks like.

That said, for the past two days I have intentionally cleaned my room, and today I made my bed, did laundry, and vacuumed. Yes, mom, you read that right, I properly vacuumed for the first time since running over the cord accidentally-on-purpose 10 years ago.

This change of heart is partly because of the cluster of dead bugs in front of my door where I attacked the perimeter with Raid, and also something deeper that probably has to do with growing up and being responsible or something like that.

I've been introducing myself as 'Ms. Lastname', which is weird, as is purposely trying to obscure my identity right there. As an aspiring writer, I've been recently trying to gain all sorts of exposure to help publication, but now I've made my Twitter private and am close to doing the whole 'middle name' thing on Facebook, because although I don't think I post anything even remotely scandalizing, there's a whole new layer of accountability that goes along with working in a high school. I do hope to keep these blog posts open for all to read- and while I want to stay as true to life as possible, I'll have to tread a little more carefully.

But! Growing up hasn't been all red tape and accountability, or just super boring accomplishments like vacuuming. I've been going on real-person lunch meetings and testing my Spanish skills in everyday professional interactions. I've experienced a new level of freedom here, different from college in a nice sort of way. I'm within walking distance to downtown El Paso, technically walking distance to Mexico! I try to get out and about exploring as much as possible, including finding a new favorite tea house and reading/writing nook. I've been meeting lots of new people and for the first time in my life, am faring pretty great at staving off the shyness issue. With our new friend from Juarez, my fellow LV and I paged through a whole newspaper pullout advertising what's going on this month and circled about 50 events we want to get to. We picked up and drove to a wine tasting in New Mexico that didn't end up being quite what we expected, but those are the sorts of impromptu adventures I can't wait to experience in the coming year. (Side note- I've now been to four new states since graduation!)

Yesterday, the first day of school and my first day on the 'other side' of the school population, was definitely stressful, but today I feel like I'm getting into a nice routine. I'm seriously excited about the possibilities of collaborating with area non-profits and getting the students to become excited themselves about service, as well as helping them to grow spiritually. Everything is new, so that can be scary, but I want to look at it instead as a tabula rasa, a clean slate to begin again with the students I work with and my own path as well.

Blank pages are intimidating, but think instead of all the wonderful worlds they can hold. :)

[P.S., as promised- newest mail shout-out goes to Sam! Thanks for the surprise, I'll get you a proper reply soon.]

Silver and Gold

When I was a girl scout way back in the day, there was a song we always sang which went: "make new friends, but keep the old, one is silver and the other's gold." The past two days have been a powerful reminder of that tune as I'm striving to get settled in this new world. I've been blessed with connections in El Paso from a friend and a professor back home, and I'm living with Brothers who are respected community members and have access to a huge number of alumni and families of students.

Yesterday night, my fellow LV and I had dinner at the home of a friend of a friend who I met up with at my site visit in May. In addition to sharing a fantastic meal, it was great to chat with new people our age who knew the area so well, and hear more about the great work they're doing with local organizations. I had run into our host the day before at a gathering of local religious and non-profit groups, and it's always so cool to see how so many people working to make positive change end up collaborating and running together.

Today I was also surprised with another friendly face, a recent alumni of the school where I'm working. He was visiting the Brothers for dinner, and afterwards offered to take us LVs on a tour of downtown El Paso. I'd wandered around before, but having a guide who totally knew the city was a whole other experience. We found two free concerts, accidentally ran away from a billionaire, made plans to visit Juarez (Mexico!) next weekend, as well as check out a bunch of other cool local sites tomorrow, 'because they look so much better in the daytime'. It seemed like a stroke of incredible luck, but as the head campus minister at school is always reminding us, "God works in mysterious ways."

And like the girl scout song says, you have to keep the old friends too, and take good care of them because they're golden. After blasting out a plea on Facebook for mail and love, today I received my first letters! So here is the promised blog shout-out. I got an awesome summery postcard from the greatest blogger ever and a perfect panda card from my mom's best friend growing up. Katie and Michelle, thank you so much! I will send replies soon.

In continuing with my silver and gold theme, today I had a lovely long conversation with two of my best college friends, and right after hanging up from that, planned an upcoming skype date with another. Those are the kind of times that can really brighten up my day. (Even though it's pretty steadily hot and sunny...!) And I guess if old friends are gold, family has got to be...platinum? Diamond? I dunno, metal's not my thing. But yesterday I got to have a phone call with my whole extended family, including the part visiting from Austria! So that was wonderful but also a surefire way to make me homesick for the first time. (Today one of the faculty members asked me if I missed Wawa, and sad to say I hadn't been until he brought it up...)

There's going to be many more new faces and conversations in my future, some planned and others I can't even imagine. I'm going to work hard to build on these connections and really get to be a part of the community here, while also still holding on to the incredible people I have back home. It's a balancing act, but I think an important one to pull off. Thank you to everyone who's reached out to me, which extends far beyond the few listed in this post. I couldn't handle it without you, you have my love.

Until next time (hopefully soon),
Catherine

In the Real World

Excuses, excuses. I've been trying to write for the past several days, promise, but the lack of a computer has been holding me back. (My keyboard-less dinosaur was finally retired, and I should be getting a laptop from the school sometime next week). Yesterday, I trekked my way downtown to the local library with the intent of getting a card (because free books!) and also using their computers. As with any well-laid plan, though, I ran into hangups. It began to rain, the beginning of a short lived monsoon season, I was there an hour before it opened, and after finally getting inside was turned away from getting a card because I didn't have proof of an El Paso address. It was a disappointing start, but in other ways a huge success: I didn't get lost even once! Exploring and wandering around a new city is one of my favorite things to do in the world, and it's often one of the ways I keep in check my killer ability to end up on the opposite side of town. I did make it across the city, but this time, it was by choice.

The streets are conveniently grid-shaped, and the whole place is sort of on a hill. On an early walk this morning, I found myself up a lot higher than I'd intended, and when I got to a lookout point a ways up, I was pleasantly surprised at being able to pick out exactly where I needed to go. I live right next to the Cathedral, which has a pretty high green tower, and serves as a wonderful landmark wherever I end up. These walks will definitely be something I can get used to- though I should probably wear better walking shoes next time.

I'm playing catch up with this blog post because so much has happened since I landed on Thursday, not even counting the two weeks of LV training in Chicago. Those were inspirational and informative, and mostly just a great way to transition into this intense year of service. There were a group of second year volunteers who shared their stories and life lessons with us newbies, and the whole program was structured so that we were able to become comfortable, make connections, and feel supported in the year ahead.

Another brief rundown of life so far: I'm living with a group of Christian Brothers, four wonderful and hospitable men who've dedicated their lives to teaching in the Lasallian tradition. Along with another volunteer, we'll be a community for the next 10 months, sharing meals, prayer time, and overall life. I get my own room and bathroom, which I've decorated to be a really nice space. Last night the other LV and I went to one of those wine and painting classes, so I have a nice new painting on the wall, along with my Tanzanian khanga as a room divider, and a pretty wall sticker that reads 'Never Stop Exploring'. A downside is that the bathroom pipe leaks, and the shower water smells pretty sulfury...but you know. Living simply, hakuna matata.

Overall, life is good. I'm excited to start officially working tomorrow and finally get into the bulk of the work that sent me here in the first place. I'll be updating more frequently, and getting posts back to being a bit more themed as opposed to an overall recap. Comments are always welcome, and thanks for following along!

Life in Boxes

I always experience something melancholy around the time of packing for a big trip. It often feels monumental, and while each time it's different, I also know a tinge of familiarity in the transition troubles I seem to always face. I get very nostalgic and sentimental about all sorts of things, especially goodbyes and lasts. Some are seemingly trivial but very real ("Goodbye, dear books") while others are straight up ridiculous ("This is the last time I will load the dishwasher all year").

In a little less than 12 hours, I'll be on my way to the airport for a week in Chicago, and then ten months in El Paso. The border has been in the news a lot lately, and more than just me being hyper-attuned to immigration issues because of my impending trip. I plan to post about any insights I gain on the current crisis, as well as my own every day experiences and happenings. I hope I'll be able to make something interesting and informative out of this space, similar but distinct from my bygone Ireland posts. While I might not have too much of a chance to post again until I arrive in August, and I certainly failed at updating in the summer, I do promise I'll have quality writing here once I get properly settled in my new home.

I'm scared and excited, I've packed way too much, but it's time for the next chapter. As Hagrid said, and I like to reflect on during times like these: "What's comin' will come, and we'll meet it when it does."

Hasta luego, mis amigos.

Back in Action

Hello, wonderful people who read this page. I'm a bit rusty with blogging, as it's been over a FULL YEAR since my last post on this site, formerly 'Adventures in Galway'. Where has the time gone? In the past year since then, I've experienced a multitude of stories in Philadelphia, Arkansas, Vietnam, and Montana. I will get around to telling them someday.

In the off chance you've stumbled upon this post without knowing already, I am about to begin a volunteer year in El Paso, Texas. Any posts before this one are about my semester studying at the National University of Ireland, Galway, where I adventured around the country, as well as briefly to Vienna, London, and Scotland. You can check out this page to see where else I've been in the past couple years, as well as where I'd like to go.

I officially confirmed today that I'll be taking the position in El Paso, and while I don't leave for another month and a half, I was so excited about making it 100% for real that I went overboard in getting the blog spruced up for its new chapter. I likely won't be posting more than once or twice between now and when I leave, but I will be tracking my summer writing goals here, if you'd like to check that out and make me feel guilty whenever there's a gap.

In addition to writing and reading fiction, I plan to spend my summer brushing up on Spanish, delving into any articles or information about border life, and otherwise preparing for the coming year. If you live in El Paso and have ideas about community service projects for High Schoolers, live anywhere else and have experience with migration issues, or just want to say hi and good luck, (or even bye and good riddance), please leave me a comment! I love getting feedback.

Thanks for coming along, I promise it'll be an adventure.