I will write about Scotland, I will, I will. I promise. I already have a post and a half partially drafted dedicated to my past week traversing the lands to the North, particularly Edinburgh, Inverness, Belfast and Giants Causeway. I was writing for most of the time there too, but couldn't bring my laptop in the interest of space and as a result am very far behind on my blogging. I could throw something up here from those notes, but I want to do the trip justice, so will need to delay that a bit longer.
But while I hem and haw about getting all of the details of those adventures right, I keep straying back to thoughts of the last two days, and since those are fresher, I'll give you a dose of those before I lose them and then will return to dealing with Scotland.
The goodbyes have started, and now with my last big trip finished and just a little over two weeks left in study abroad (how on earth did that happen?), I'm in a very strange place emotionally. The day I returned from that trip I stopped over to visit a friend of mine from Writers' Soc who returns to her home in France early tomorrow morning, to return a book and share a cup of tea and exchange hugs. She'd hosted an 'Au Revoir' gathering the evening before, which I unfortunately couldn't attend, and made sure to point out that in French, that farewell translates to more of a temporary goodbye than a permanent one. It's a thought I've been holding onto desperately, and needing more than I anticipated.
Leaving home to come to Ireland was very emotional. I absolutely cried after getting through security, waved one last goodbye to my loved ones across the airport and then promptly sat down on a bench and felt completely overwhelmed with my situation. Being away has been tough, sometimes more so than others, and I had a few moments not too long after Vienna where I thought about moving my flight home to see my boyfriend for more than one day before he leaves for Kenya. Missing my family has been easier since we had that wonderful week visit, but still the notion that I could be home and that my work is all done and I am mostly out of money was a somewhat unhappy one as I stood in the airport waiting for another bus to take me back out of Dublin once again.
But then I went to Scotland, and while I'll give you loads of fresh details on that soon outside of my own disgruntled feelings and some actual facts and stories, I will say that I had experiences there I can't imagine giving up. I've always tried to 'suck the marrow out of life' a la Walden Pond, and to give up these last precious weeks in Ireland, where I'm not sure how long it'll be until I return, would be such a foolish thing to do that I know I would regret for the rest of my life. The best medicine for homesickness has been, for me, knowing that the people I care about care about me too and will be there when I get back, and for a long time after. Every message I've gotten from friends and family while I've been away has been more wonderful than they know, so if you are one of those people (and just by reading this sentence I appreciate you so much), thank you.
The hard part now is going to be leaving the friends I've made these past four months, some of whom I've grown very close with and others I never got the chance to know as well as I would have liked, but with whom I've still shared laughter or poetry or tea, hostel bunks and crowded lectures, pints of Bulmers and digestive biscuits. As of now I've bid farewell to three, and despite promises of 'we'll absolutely stay in touch', 'let me know if you're ever in Chicago/Aix-en-Provence/Buffalo', my chances of seeing them again are much more uncertain than my tearful goodbyes to my La Salle friends on the last day of fall semester. As much as I will try to stay connected, aided by the magic of Facebook, it's fairly certain that even when I do get back to Galway, it won't be the same. My friends and I here will maybe never again be all in the same room together, after the next week. It's terrifyingly true. I have a bit more time before the bulk of the goodbyes start to hit, but I'm really unsure about how well I'm going to cope.
I'm happy I left these next 17 days free from any major international journeys, and happy I didn't impulsively go home, although that was never really a feasible option. Staying here was a tough decision to make, because of course my travel bug wants me to get everywhere I can, but I know I need to spend more quality time with Galway too. I think that's going to be one of the hardest goodbyes of all.
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